Muffled Heartbeats and Haphazard Greasepaint is a horror flash fiction story written by Brian Barnett. It is about a small town in Kentucky that is invaded by a strange circus-like parade. After taking a few members from the gawking crowd, the parade disappears once it moves through the town.

The story was originally published by The Daily Tourniquet. It was published again in Barnett's collection State of the Dark.

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